Welcome
What you will find here are a words on a variety of subject matters. This is a website about life. Life in all the ways it happens. As you can see by the squirrel in the picture, he is sitting in the grass eating a walnut with the snow all around him. On this particular day, the wind was bantering all around him. Life is like that. A mix of summer warm happenings, winter cold lessons and pains, unexpected winds of change , and nutty people, places, and happenings. This is all life . I like to look at it from the bizarre side sometimes so just maybe I'm a little squirrely.
What you will find here are a words on a variety of subject matters. This is a website about life. Life in all the ways it happens. As you can see by the squirrel in the picture, he is sitting in the grass eating a walnut with the snow all around him. On this particular day, the wind was bantering all around him. Life is like that. A mix of summer warm happenings, winter cold lessons and pains, unexpected winds of change , and nutty people, places, and happenings. This is all life . I like to look at it from the bizarre side sometimes so just maybe I'm a little squirrely.
Several years ago just shy of fifty years of age I developed epilepsy. The first grand-mal seizure I suffered left me with limited oxygen for up to fifteen minutes. I have not fully nor am I ever expected to ever fully recover from the mental challenges I now face as a result. That is okay. It was not okay for a long time. I had a long road of trying to rehabilitate my mind. I was an intellectual and philosophical individual. I liked to debate with the thinkers. Now I have to concentrate just to think.
This just means everything I do takes longer. I have to search for my words in my brain and have to wait for them to fall into place like Plinko on the Price is Right. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they come down in strange configurations allowing for a day of belly laughs. Other days they come out inspirational, the way God intends them.
Love is changing approx 157680 diapers in a 3 yr period while caring for 2 older children and a household and being happy about it.
TUQBURNI [Arabic meaning: you bury me] A love so deep you can't imagine life without your partner
The Bible speaks of a sorrow so deep it rots the marrow of our bones. I believe this sorrow can come when we love someone so deeply and we have merged so much as to seem as to share the same flow of blood in our veins, air in our lungs, and a shared skin. I know this was the case when I found my soul mate. We both knew it immediately. We became instant friends. We couldn't get enough of each other's time. Time never tired. We were as comfortable with each other as a pair of old shoes and sweat pants. It was like looking at one another and suddenly finding home. And then life got in the way. We got separated. My heart broke. I broke. I really truly broke. I was no longer the same person. I could not function. I could live. BUT I was hollow inside. There was something missing that I could not get back. Whatever it was left with her. I could still laugh but it didn't feel as full. I felt a grief and loss at a depth that caused me to make a conscious effort to put one foot in front of the other. I found it hard to breathe. I went to work. I went to church. I went about life. I hung with friends. My marrow rotted away. I made a bad choice. I ended up in a less than desirable situation I could endure and survive but there was no life or living there. My I marrow continued to rot away. I already knew I was leaving this situation and I was working my way out of it when my health finally broke. It could take no more. I crashed. Cause.....affect.....time......grief.....years of survival....years of no nurture.....heredity.....who is to say.... I began to suffer seizures. Unknown to me I had a complex sleep disorder as well.... I could no longer work... the first seizure caused cognitive issues....and initial personality changes.... I could no longer drive... now I felt trapped for a time... so I burrowed in....retreated..... I had a second seizure (Major) -- this one broke my face-- I was on my own... I left.... I could not cook or drive....in fact there was little I could do. I just needed to go some place where I could heal. I found that place.... rested.....healed. I received the medical attention I needed. My strength returned. But I also knew my heart was still not the same. It was still not whole. It never would be. I had met my soul mate and I knew I would stay single unless or until it happened my heart would return to me. I just focused on my daily living.... and then my phone rang.... and my heart was speaking to me on the other end telling me she was ready to come back if it was ok. She said her name but she didn't need to. Whispers can be as loud as dynamite when your soul is speaking to you.
When I met my soul mate, it wasn't that we were twins or that we could read each others' minds. Our shadows just knew how to dance together without effort and today they are dancing once again.
When I met my soul mate, it wasn't that we were twins or that we could read each others' minds. Our shadows just knew how to dance together without effort and today they are dancing once again.
A bit about Chase:
She came to me by way of the Saint Louis Humane Society in a cage. She was nothing short of a boomerang fueled by dynamite. She bowled right into you as if you weren't even there because you were there. She was coming for you. You better be prepared. She was nothing short of ecstatic boundless happy grateful EXPLODING LOVE. She was puppy head to toe and I was going to have to train her to control all this wonderfulness.
Like all dogs, she would not really reach full calm down maturity until about three years of age but In the mean time the job was made easier by having her pseudo trained by watching my Jack Russell terrier Ethan. Potty training was not an issue. She simply followed his lead. The first thing Chase had to learn was to sit. Then she learned to stay. Then she learned to come. Then she learned to walk on a lead. Then as we played she learned a vocabulary of go, find, fetch, find your toy and even a specific toy. She grew to learn lie down, the word space (meaning she needs to back up because she is too close) shake, sit up, hug, kiss, belly rub, go get help, go get Ethan, down, No, time to eat, time for bed, and go for a ride, excuse me, up and beep beep which is more of a playful way to encourage her to move out of the way.
Chase is now five years old and mature. She still has moments of puppy-dom explosions but she is mostly like a cuddle service dog now. She plays yes. We have a great time playing. She and Ethan play king of the couch or deck and it is like watching spontaneity ignite right before your eyes. It tickles your soul. Yet on the daily level, Chase is my side kick, my quiet shadow that watches over me. She is the angel God assigned me before I knew I needed one.
She came to me by way of the Saint Louis Humane Society in a cage. She was nothing short of a boomerang fueled by dynamite. She bowled right into you as if you weren't even there because you were there. She was coming for you. You better be prepared. She was nothing short of ecstatic boundless happy grateful EXPLODING LOVE. She was puppy head to toe and I was going to have to train her to control all this wonderfulness.
Like all dogs, she would not really reach full calm down maturity until about three years of age but In the mean time the job was made easier by having her pseudo trained by watching my Jack Russell terrier Ethan. Potty training was not an issue. She simply followed his lead. The first thing Chase had to learn was to sit. Then she learned to stay. Then she learned to come. Then she learned to walk on a lead. Then as we played she learned a vocabulary of go, find, fetch, find your toy and even a specific toy. She grew to learn lie down, the word space (meaning she needs to back up because she is too close) shake, sit up, hug, kiss, belly rub, go get help, go get Ethan, down, No, time to eat, time for bed, and go for a ride, excuse me, up and beep beep which is more of a playful way to encourage her to move out of the way.
Chase is now five years old and mature. She still has moments of puppy-dom explosions but she is mostly like a cuddle service dog now. She plays yes. We have a great time playing. She and Ethan play king of the couch or deck and it is like watching spontaneity ignite right before your eyes. It tickles your soul. Yet on the daily level, Chase is my side kick, my quiet shadow that watches over me. She is the angel God assigned me before I knew I needed one.