Regarding marriage.... Yes the Supreme Court passed the right that Jane and I could get married. The thing that keeps ringing in my ears is everyone keeps saying we can't change the definition of marriage -- one man/one woman or we threaten 'your' marriage or family values. First, I didn't want to be an activist. I didn't want to be outspoken. I didn't want to be a fighter to my rights UNTIL I found out as a lesbian I didn't have any. I didn't want the 'right' to get married. I didn't want the 'world' to recognize my relationship in terms of giving their approval. I don't do that for them. I didn't want anything until it became extremely personal and until it becomes extremely personal to you, you won't struggle with it either. If I live according to main stream Christian beliefs I am destined to live a life of solitude and loneliness as far as a soul mate/partner is concerned. However let's just say I find my soul mate and you make a pre judgment upon us that we are sexual (which what we do is really no one's business but ours as we do not ask you). What if we are not? What if you are just making an assumption or buying in on the label? Yes we are in a loving relationship. Yes we are partners. Yes we are intimate in ways you will never understand but NOT in ways you think. Remember, I am ONLY speaking for me and Jane. I am not speaking for the multitudes BUT I am certain there are many out there with the same story. I don't need the world to give me my dignity. My dignity comes from the fact that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my Creator and I am deeply loved by Him. He didn't just die for all of the people who are out there raising their banners against this verdict...He died for me. He did not put exceptions on WHO could come to Him..... He said..."Whoever"..... and that includes me. So why would a 'marriage' verdict be so important to us? Because Jane and I are connected like family but we aren't protected like family. If we spend our lives working, building and sharing like a hetro couple and something happens to one of us we cannot inherit each other's property on a rollover. It's not considered community property. We live as a community but we cannot 'community' own. When I retire, my partner who has shared and co-relied on my income for all these years cannot rely on my retirement like a hetro couple. If one of us is sick and ends up in the hospital - again we are not considered 'family' and can be excluded by staff and natural family from being involved EVEN THOUGH last wishes and power of attorney have been given to the partner. Then it carries through death all rights are stripped from there as well. There is no protection and no rights. In ALL of humanity would we even think for a moment of treating a man or a woman like this at the bedside of their spouse as they are dying?? We wouldn't even tell an owner he couldn't be with his puppy if it were dying but somehow it is different with the GLBT group. There are degrees of love. There are different expressions of love as culture alone shows. I am not here to tell you whether this love is right or wrong. What I am going to tell you is statistically you are going to find the gammet of healthy and unhealthy relationships in the GLBT group as you do in the Hetro group. Trust me, Hetros drink, have sexual proclivities, hide incest and adultery, abuse each other, go through the motions of a relationship and then, yes THEN, some of them are even really very terrific. I have a really terrific relationship but I have been in some awful ones. I choose not to discuss them here. Not the point. The point is for us it is about protection. I am not about redefining marriage. I don't think it can be redefined. It means what it means. I am not a wife. I am not a husband. I am a partner. Maybe a spouse. (I am not married I am just talking here). Your marriage will only mean whatever it means to you. We consecrate it or desecrate it by how we take care of it. When you make a vow before God you should be serious. He does not take it lightly. It's not just, or only, or always about sex. If God gives you someone to love or someone to love you... honor it. |